Paperweight by Meg Haston
What is it about?
Teenage girl is sent to forlorn treatment center in the middle of nowhere to get over guilt trip and eating disorder issues.
OK, but what is it really about?
17-year-old Stevie suffers from anorexia nervosa. Depressed because her mother left the family and paralyzed by guilt over her brother’s death for which she feels responsible, she is sent to a treatment center on the outskirts of the New Mexico desert. Stevie resents the other girls, the intrusive therapists and the strict rules and regulations – she doesn’t want to get better, she wants to die. Only with a lot of patience, empathy and self-reflection, Stevie eventually begins the rocky path to recovery, as the reader follows her on her new and challenging daily routine and receives insight into her complicated past through flashbacks.
Is it any good?
Although I’m far beyond my teenage years, I love reading YA novels. I’m still fascinated by coming-of-age stories. Maybe I miss my own youth or I simply appreciate a well-crafted story. Paperweight is not an easy read – at times, it feels too brutal and too raw – and it’s gut-wrenching to be witness to Stevie’s messed-up self-perception and her profound death wish. The recovery process is long and dreary: for every little step of progress Stevie makes, another setback seems to follow, making the story painfully realistic. I enjoyed seeing how she gradually opens up to both the staff at the center, but also the other girls, bonding with them – it’s such a frail connection at first, which only grows stronger over time, showing us that we don’t (and often can’t) face and solve our problems alone, and that it’s OK to ask for help.
Favorite character?
Shrink (Anna). She’s Stevie’s voice of reason, her shoulder to lean on, she knows when to be pushy and when to back off. She understands that Stevie needs time to heal, and that she has to do it on her own terms. As a recovering alcoholic, Shrink understands what it feels like to fight your own demons – having been through the battle herself, she is in a better position to help the girls at the treatment facility, and she does so in the most encouraging and compassionate way.
Most memorable quote?
“I have no more fight in me. Whatever was left has leaked out, through the cracks in the floor tiles, leaving nothing but the faintest ghost of a stain.”
Conclusion?
Paperweight is a story about loss, grief, mental illness and trying to find your way back to life, even when it seems impossible to do so. Stevie is incredibly judgmental at first – all for good reason, of course, but it made it hard for me to find her approachable. At times, I found the flashbacks a bit too lengthy, but all in all, this was a good book, but be aware of the many trigger warnings that come with it!
AT A GLANCE
Title: Paperweight
Author: Meg Haston
Published by: Hot Key Books (2015)
Pages: 304
Language: English